Hey, Homeowners: Your Kittens Don’t Need ‘Catios’

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Saving suicidal kitties from taking the plunge one unnecessary caged porch at a time.

The latest in the never-ending stream of New York Times trend stories, is today’s story on ‘catios,’ or rather, covered patios and other enclosures for cats to play in (complete with a list of what you need to build your very own catio). I wish I were kidding.

Remember the days when cats were tough enough to run and play in the wild — otherwise known as plush suburban backyards? Those days are over.

Outdoor space is basically non-existent in New York, so what to do when you finally have the cash to throw down for an apartment with a balcony or deck? Sunlight and unobstructed views be damned, cover it with a screen so your kitties can play.

The most absurd part of this story is the photo gallery which shows photos of some people who live in real homes, with real backyards (and really tall fences) and still have built cages for their kitties. I am proud to say that my cat, who lives at home with my parents in Washington state, has cojones enough to take a little weather. At age 16, he runs and plays outside — dirt, mud, rain or shine.

You see, cats are smart enough not to jump off of uncovered balconies. Their owners? Not so much. In fact, one woman says until they cat-proofed their 12th-floor balcony, she and her husband never used it. “We were afraid the cats would fall or jump,” she said. Here’s an idea: Shut the door on Fluffy and enjoy the breeze.

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