The Lindsay Lohan How-To-Guide: Ensure No One Takes Your Apologies Seriously

Despite the pledges of innocence and the tears, Lindsay Lohan still managed to prove she’s a badass who doesn’t care what anyone, not even a judge, says. (Either that or that she’s an idiot).

The not-exactly-subliminal message that Lohan sent the court via her nail art has inspired us at NewsFeed to offer up this step-by-step guide. And don’t think that this guide is only meant to disrespect judges or a court of law; you can disrespect loads of people with these nails! Teachers, parents, cops; the list is practically endless.

How To Act Apologetic While Letting Your Nails Say How You Really Feel

1)   Decide what you want to say. Sure, Lohan went with the obvious choice but you can really be creative with this one! Personal insults would be a good place to start.

2)   Start with a good base color. If you want to make the point stronger, have your phrase of choice set against a solid background. Lohan clearly wussed out by using rainbow clouds, or whatever they were. It’s practically camouflaged, Lindsay! What if everyone had missed it and thought you were actually sorry. Geez.

3)   Once your base coat is dry, use either tiny nail decals (if you can find ones with your chosen phrase, which could be hard) or use a manicure pen and a steady hand to write out what you want to say. And yes, it’s tricky but don’t be discouraged. Just think how rebellious everyone will think you are.

4)   Cover with clear nail polish and let dry.

5)   This is the final step and all it really takes is some half-hearted apology attempts and a lot of waving your hands around your face. Someone’s bound to notice your nails and realize you don’t take anyone or anything seriously. Because you’re that cool.

*Note: Following this guide could cause you to be widely mocked and/or sentenced to jail time. Consider yourself warned.