Jon Gosselin to Abandon Self-Seriousness, Write Parenting Book If It Will Make People Notice

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If you look up the word ‘irony’ in the dictionary, you will not find it because today it exploded.

In a plan that was probably cynically designed solely to get his name mentioned on websites such as NewsFeed, erstwhile reality-TV star Jon Gosselin announced today that he is writing a book about parenting. NewsFeed really doesn’t want to spend more time on this dude than is necessary, so let’s just get on with the jokes, shall we?

1. The book will be called “How to Exploit Your Children for Financial Gain!”

2. The book of parenting wisdom will be three pages long.

3. There will be a special chapter on divorce entitled “How to Make Yourself Less Likable Than Your Shrill Harpy of a Wife.”

4. This is a man whose only skill in life so far has been impregnating his wife while she was on fertility treatments, causing her to have an above-average number of children. (This is not really a joke — more of a statement of fact — but it is still funny.)

5. “There is no deal yet or timeline,” an anonymous friend of Gosselin reported, “but the [interest] in Jon from publishers is huge right now, so he’s going to strike while the iron is hot.” (This is also not a joke, but it is still hilarious.)

That’s enough tired snark from us for now. Write your own in the comments! (via Today)