Tiger Buys Manhattan Bachelor Pad, Champagne Rooms of the City Rejoice

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It has begun.

NewsFeed always feels guilty about reporting on celebrity news, but this story adds more credence to one of our favorite media narratives. Ever since the Tiger Woods infidelity scandal broke last year, we’ve been of the opinion (first put forth by one of Bill Simmons’ readers) that the one thing Tiger needs to do is go full heel and embrace his newfound villainy. And so we react with glee to the news that Tiger has apparently purchased an apartment in downtown Manhattan. Could this be anything but the first step in Tiger’s new life of open debauchery?

The report from Us Weekly didn’t specify where downtown Tiger’s new place was, so NewsFeed will sneakily speculate. The Meatpacking District, within easy walking distance of hundreds of bottle services? SoHo, where rail-thin models prowl the streets?┬áThe Village, where he can scam on NYU undergrads? If NewsFeed had to venture a guess, though, we’d think he’d feel most at home in the Financial District, alongside thousands of other former nerds who grew up to be huge jerks.