Reading While Eating for Oct. 1: One-Liners, Tweets and Comic Strips

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Cirque du Soleil fans, wearing angel wings, dance during a promotional event to get tickets to the circus' show Corteo in Moscow September 30, 2010.

REUTERS/Denis Sinyakov

Friday’s links ring in October with fast Wi-Fi, stupid appliances and operatic court appearances.

Too Smart: Are smartphones ruining all the fun? The latest: they’re killing drunken debates, since you can look anything up to prove someone wrong. (The Atlantic)

Tough Tweeting: The language is decidedly not safe for work, but this satirical Twitter account is a hilariously accurate portrayal of Rahm Emanuel’s probable thought process. (@MayorEmanuel)

Superfluous Supplies: From a cake saw to an egg cuber, check out the dumbest kitchen gadgets ever. (Salon)

Tech Triumph: Does your internet operate at a snail’s pace? Your Wi-Fi is about to get faster, thanks to a new measure by the FCC. (Slate)

Cable Cash: Network television isn’t bringing in the dough it once did. These 25 cable channels, however, are surefire moneymakers. (Daily Beast)

Literary Lingo: The American Book Review has compiled a list of the 100 best first lines from novels. Did they miss anything? (American Book Review)

Good Grief: The Peanuts comic strip turns 60 today. Check out exclusive photos of Charles Schulz and his illustrated friends. (LIFE)

Elsewhere on Don’t get enough viral videos on NewsFeed? Check out the five best web videos of the week.

Must-See: D’Atra Hicks, star of Tyler Perry’s stage show Madea’s Family Reunion, goes Broadway during an episode of Divorce Court. (Best Week Ever)