Tony Blair In The Running For Bad Sex Award

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REUTERS/Nigel Roddis

There’s nothing worse than a bad sex scene. At least that’s what the judges for the UK Literary Review’s Bad Sex Awards think. The least coveted prize in literature is awarded annually to a writer who has made us cringe with their description of the act of sweet sweet love. It is an award usually reserved for novelists, but, according to the Telegraph’s source, Tony Blair’s memoir A Journey is “definitely up there.”

In his book, the ex-British Prime Minister describes a night of passion with his wife Cherie: “That night she cradled me in her arms and soothed me; told me what I needed to be told; strengthened me… On that night of 12th May 1994, I needed that love Cherie gave me, selfishly. I devoured it to give me strength. I was an animal following my instinct…” Oh dear, oh dear Tony. Did you really have to? (See 5 little-known truths about American sex lives.)

Last year’s winner, Jonathan Littell’s The Kindly Ones, was also a corker, including descriptions of the female nether regions as “a Gorgon’s head” and “a motionless Cyclops whose single eye never blinks.” Lovely. (See pictures of Tony Blair on the road.)

Sir Andrew Motion, Britain’s former Poet Laureate and chairman of the judging panel for the prestigious literary prize, the Man Booker Prize, recently blamed the Bad Sex Award for the lack of sex scenes in this year’s Booker entries. “I was very surprised. I thought it was going to be a panorama of sexual activity but it absolutely wasn’t. The Bad Sex Prize has probably put a lot of people off.” NewsFeed can’t decide whether this is a good or a bad thing.