True Crimes: When Toilet Paper Attacks

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It’s pretty embarrassing to be arrested. It’s even more embarrassing when the crime is assault and your weapon of choice is toilet paper.

Allen Kerner, 55, was arrested for throwing a roll of toilet paper at a custodian in the Framingham, Mass. town hall bathroom because, according to Framingham police spokesman Lt. Ron Brandolin, “he was angry about being whistled at.”

Kerner allegedly threw the roll and immediately ran away but the janitor chased after him. Because they were in a town hall, police were already present in the building and Kerner was promptly apprehended.

NewsFeed has just one question: was it Charmin or Quilted Northern?