Everything about this story is completely foreign to NewsFeed’s experience.
In the latest sign that teen actress Dakota Fanning can do things most normal humans can’t, North Hollywood’s Campbell Hall Episcopal High School named Fanning its Homecoming Queen Monday night. This is the second year in a row Fanning has won the prize. (Sadly, a three-peat is out of the question; Fanning, though only 16, is somehow a senior.)
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NewsFeed feels a little icky writing more than two paragraphs about a teenage girl, so we’re going to stop here and note that we hope this honor is solace for Fanning somehow never even having been nominated for an Oscar yet. We will also offer our condolences to Campbell Hall homecoming king, senior Henry Aleck, whose life is presumably all downhill from here.
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