This weekend’s Saturday Night Live figured out the real reason behind heightened airport-security measures. The TSA is just trying to help lonely people!
Sure, many people are crying foul over pat-down procedures, calling them an invasion of privacy. But hey, look on the bright side — if you’re feeling up for some physical contact over the Thanksgiving holiday (or don’t want radiation from the full-body scanners), the TSA is there for you.
Plus, it turns out that few Americans actually disapprove of the “enhanced” pat-downs. It’s not because they’re feeling lonely — they’re just okay with it if it keeps them safe.
So if you’re flying this holiday season, don’t prepare for a sexy TSA agent to touch you. Just check out NewsFeed’s frequently-asked security questions and get through as efficiently as you can. The person behind you in line will appreciate it, and let’s face it — as SNL points out, your TSA agent is more likely to look like Kenan Thompson than Kristen Wiig.