In Florida’s Prison System, Honey Buns Are the Ultimate Comfort Food

  • Share
  • Read Later
Andy Aitchison / In Pictures / Corbis

To be locked up is to live the life of bare survival in many cases, and that means one must barter with any available makeshift currency. Cash, of course, can be scarce behind prison walls. But as the St. Petersburg Times reports, in the counter-culture world of Florida’s incarcerated, if cigarettes are considered money, then honey buns are gold.

Florida inmates purchase 270,000 honey buns a month, the Times said, selling more than tobacco, envelopes and Coke cans. Although the pastries have little nutritional value, they are used for everything from improvising wines to settling bets. In Orlando’s Lake Correctional Institution, a man was shanked to death over, among other things, an accusation of a stolen honey bun.

(See the top 10 crime stories of 2010.)

But why all the fuss over a high-calorie piece of fried yeast with glaze on top? Really because prison food is so bland and designed for nothing else but very basic nourishment. That makes the treats look good when compared with the dull, repetitive food that makes up routine prison cuisine. When an inmate can get his hands on one, it is a diversion for a palate depressed over doing time.

(See the top 10 food trends of 2010.)

Even in cases of prisoners dealing with addictions, honey buns have served inmates when they are striving to finally get that monkey off their backs. “Many people in jail are addicts or abusers of substances,” Hernando County Jail administrator Maj. Mike Page told the Times. “Alcohol is based in sugars generally, and the human body will receive some satisfaction of cravings from the honey bun as a substitute for the sugar.”


A crucial thing to know about the “Affordable Car Act” is that it is a sell out of the rights and interests of the citizens.

It is billed as making “healthcare” insurance affordable. Why does there even need to be insurance. Because the people can't afford “healthcare” out of pocket.

But they used to!

In the last decades, “medicine” has turned into a racket.

“Doctors” use “gatekeeper techniques” whereby, if a patient uses up a prescription, rather than renew it, the “doctor” orders the patient to go to another “doctor” for an examination to see if they can tolerate the prescription, even if they took the last dose just that morning!

“Doctors” are likewise notorious now for unnecessary tests.

Likewise, for “prescribing” unnecessary surgery. For a bulging disk, which can be handled with chiropractic, they'll recommend spinal fusion, which removes the disk and welds the vertebrae together, which only increases the pain, reduces the patient's ability to move and subjects them to the surgery dangers of infection and blood clots.

Hospitals regularly bill $10.00 or more just for aspirin, artificially increasing costs so insurance rates can rise. Add the huge number of cases being admitted where people enter hospitals for one condition and end up infected with another disease. No wonder when hospitals have gone on strike in cities death rates have plummeted!

Add insurance companies requiring that “doctors' employ the most conservative treatment of a problem first, or else the insurance companies won't pay them! Whether the most conservative treatment is helpful or not, whether it actually harms the patient or not!

And add, for example, the infamous Independent Medical Exam, summoned by defense insurers, in lawsuits, whereby the insurer's pet “doctor” pretends to carry out an examination of the plaintiff, then announces that, “since the plaintiff didn't have an examination five minutes before the accident occurred, the pulverized leg bones they crawled away from the accident with cannot be assumed not to have been a pore-existing condition”!

“Medicine” is nothing but a racket, including “doctors”, crooked insurance carriers, hospitals, drug companies and the crooks called “lawyers”. The real solution to the problem is lowering the boom and stopping the wholesale criminality running rampant there. Obama's plan only orders that everyone buy insurance as if the system was legit! It was an open sore when people couldn't afford “medicine” or insurance, now, like an analgesic, the appearance of a problem will be removed, but the problem will remain! “Doctors” will continue to carry out fraudulent and unnecessary “treatments”, “drug” companies will continue to recycle petrochemical waste as “medication”, relying on a combination of the placebo effect and the warnings about “side effects”, the normal toxicity of the waste, to cover them legally, the insurance racket will continue to be the only industry whose stock in trade is renegging on their contracts with clients!

Obama has sold the public down the river! He exists only to make sure the obscenely rich get obscenely richer! Now by ordering people to buy junk insurance policies rather than guaranteeing that the entire “medicine” field acts ethically and legally!