Simon Cowell Won’t Attend the Royal Wedding. Was He Really Expecting an Invite?

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Britain’s Mr. Mean will have to learn to live with rejection, as his lifelong dreams have been dashed. Sound familiar?

Simon Cowell has confirmed the news that the world was dreading: he hasn’t made the cut for Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding on April 29. The music mogul and man behind American Idol and the soon to debut U.S. X Factor, revealed on a 104.3 MY FM radio show that no news was, in this case, bad news.

(More on TIME.com: See pictures of Kate Middleton)

“Maybe it got lost in the post,” he joked (well, we think he’s joking), and was then asked if he felt slighted by the Queen. NewsFeed isn’t sure what’s more ludicrous: the fact that this question was even asked or that Cowell deemed it worthy of a response. “It feels a little bit like that doesn’t it? … What have I done wrong?” he bemoaned and you can see his point for there has no been no finer export in the history of Great Britain.

And if we’re in the business of pretending that he had a genuine shot at being invited — after all, being famous and British has been good enough to allegedly score Elton John, David Beckham and Victoria Beckham entry to what will be hands down the greatest event in the history of our planet — then let’s allow Cowell’s story to run its course.

(More on TIME.com: See Simon Cowell in the top 10 British invasions.)

He’s already claiming that, had he been given one of the precious 1,900 invites, it would have conflicted with the X Factor auditions. “That wasn’t great timing,” he said. “It’s a good excuse, isn’t it?” And Cowell is nothing if not magnanimous as he’s already sent the couple a teapot as way of wedding gift. But here’s the thing: where Wills & Kate have registered, one imagines, the cost of a mere teapot would be enough to make you cry. (via People)

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