Why Won’t Anyone Talk to Alice, the Saddest Whale in the Ocean?

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Alice can’t get a date. She doesn’t enjoy the same things everybody else does and she finds it hard to relate to anyone her own age. When she tries, it’s almost like they’re not even listening. Oh, by the way: Alice is a whale.

Good magazine has an article about this “loneliest whale in the world” (dubbed “Alice” by the folks over at Gizmodo; the whale doesn’t have an official name) who has no family and no friends because no one can hear it. Literally. Alice “sings” at 52 Hertz, just slightly higher than lowest note on a tuba.  Other whales communicate at 15 to 25 Hertz range. Alice can’t attract a mate because she’s  singing too high.

Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI) scientists have been tracking the whale since 1992 and have no idea why it sings so strangely. In fact, they’re not even sure what kind of whale it is.  They know it’s a baleen whale (meaning, it has no teeth, just baleen plates to filter food), but that’s it. Alice could even be a guy.

To make matters worse, Alice doesn’t seem to travel along the same migratory routes as any other baleen whale species. It’s just out there in the ocean, swimming alone—and crying.

It’s okay, Alice.  One day, Disney will probably turn your heartache into a movie.