In case you needed one more way for Charlie to steal your attention – and your money.
(More on TIME.com: See the pivotal scenes from Charlie Sheen’s films)
The app, called “The MaSheen”, can fire up quotes from the Vatican assassin called Mind Torpedos. Sheen fanatics can get advice straight from his highly-evolved brain using the Fortune Teller (though a word to the wise: would you really trust Charlie’s advice?). The app also includes 17 short videos, though we have no idea (or interest) in what these are.
Granted, the $2.99 tab is not a price NewsFeed is willing to pay for more Sheen shenanigans, but it allows his loyal fans to feel that much more loyal – wherever they go. It’s reported that Sheen himself can send updates to the app if he pleases. Be warned.
Truthfully, the app we’re most waiting for is one that can erase all mentions of Charlie Sheen.
(More on TIME.com: Do CBS execs want Sheen back?)