Bottoms Up! The Royal Wedding Drinking Game

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Bottoms up!

Because not everyone cares about the love or whatever. We’re here for the party.

Obviously, if you’re the sort of person who’s waking up at the crack of dawn to watch this circus of a wedding, you probably aren’t going to be the type who wants to crack open a beer. This game is not for you.

(More on TIME.com: See what Kate Middleton is doing wrong with her wedding)

This game is for those who’re still at it from the night before when all the hoopla begins — which is around 3 am EST. If you’re still drinking, why not make the most of the fact that every TV channel will be dedicated to the wedding and take part in our super easy and fun drinking game?

You can add your own variations to the rules, but here are a few to get you started:

-Drink: Any time a ridiculous hat appears on your TV screen. (Note: Guidelines of what qualifies as ridiculous should be predetermined. They’re all going to seem ridiculous once you start drinking.)

-Drink Slowly: Any time someone mentions Diana. It’s the boozy version of a moment of silence.

-Drink Twice: Any time a television announcer or “Royal expert” speculates about who Prince Harry will marry. (Harry would insist on doubling up.)

-Drink: Any time someone mentions one of the following phrases: “fairy tale”, “true love”, “happily ever after” and “dream come true”. (Also, try not to vomit.)

-Drink: Any time you spy Queen Elizabeth waving, Prince Charles looking awkward and Prince Harry looking adorable. Basically, you’ll never stop drinking.

(DISCLAIMER: Playing this game and following these rules will lead to certain death. TIME does not advocate playing this game.)

(More on TIME.com: Five reasons to hate the Royal Wedding)

6 comments
ScottSinnock
ScottSinnock

Take heart. the Klamaths in Oregon just won back water rights of the upper Klamath basin, and the water to irrigate 250,000 acres of white-man's pasture land is being turned off. The salmon might even return.

roknsteve
roknsteve

These treaties usually said that the Native Americans could live there "as long as the grass grows and the sun shines."  What the whites really meant was they'd lie "As long as the grass grows and the sun shines." 

DeweySayenoff
DeweySayenoff

Good luck with that.  The land was there before the Indians were.  It will be there long after they're gone.  It's hardly a violation of anyone's rights as to who happens to have it now.

roknsteve
roknsteve

@DeweySayenoff  And where's your proof the land was there before the Native Americans were?  The white man speaks with a forked tongue.