A group of fans want to elect news anchor Brian Williams president forever, even though he has no interest in the position. Philosopher king much? Somebody’s been reading Plato!
What compelled this quixotic group of young’uns to form the catchily-named Campaign to Get Brian Williams to Consider Running for President? “Brian Williams has the gravitas, chiseled jaw and general awesomeness that this country needs in a president,” says the group on its website, where supporters can download posters that read: “Williams for President, please?”
The campaign is holding its first rally on July 16th in New York City. “If you’re Brian Williams, shoot us an email and let us know you’re coming,” the group says in an open letter to the former news anchor they have dubbed “BriWi.” But what could entice this doyen of broadcast journalism from his comfortable sinecure at NBC Nightly News? The campaign promises Williams the rally will feature “elaborate orchestrated numbers, propaganda videos about your rise in the political landscape, spoken tales of your general greatness and also a story about that time you killed a boar.” How could he refuse?
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Putting Williams aside, if you can’t make the rally, Williams for President Please offers a series of YouTube videos for your ironic hipster delectation. After a series of pie-in-the-sky campaign promises to lend verisimilitude – in Brian Williams’ America, it’s 72 degrees all the time, all cars are hover cars, and your parents never got divorced – the announcer in the video ‘Extreme’ moves on to his closing pitch. “Brian Williams doesn’t want to be president, Brian Williams isn’t even aware of this campaign!!” (Monster trucks frolic to heavy metal in the background.) “But that’s exactly the reason why Brian Williams will receive a majority of presidential electoral votes if given the opportunity!” It may be true. After all, Williams loooooves NASCAR.