We’ve said it before (and we’ll probably say it again) but right now, this is our favorite Tumblr.
Suri’s Burn Book takes so many of our favorite things — Mean Girls attitude, celebrities and snarkiness — and rolls it all into one amazing Tumblr. The titular Suri is, of course, Suri Cruise, the daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Tumblr Suri is kind of a jerk — and a surprisingly literate jerk, for a 5-year-old.
(MORE: Previous Tumblrs of the Week)
Suri’s Burn Book features photos of celebrities and their children with commentary by Tumblr Suri. And if you haven’t already figured out from the title, Tumblr Suri’s comments are scathing. A brief sample:
Suri on the Beckhams: “People want to believe that Harper Beckham and I are going to be rivals. This could not be further from the truth. I have no qualms with well-dressed, well-mannered young celebrities—it’s the slovenly little miscreants I take offense with. (And if you think I’m going to be jealous of a baby’s wardrobe, let me just remind you that I have invested $100,000 of Tom’s money in my shoe collection.)”
Suri on the Afflecks: “Seraphina Affleck was photographed this week wearing (gasp) a hand-me-down from her sister Violet. I understand the need for even the upper crust of Hollywood society to be frugal these days. But fashion is not the place to skimp!”
Suri on the Jolie-Pitts: “Angelina Jolie is finally paying some attention to those twins she just had to have. Here she is carrying Vivienne and holding Knox’s hand … or is it the other way around? With this family, you never know.”
And that’s just the beginning, because in Tumblr Suri’s world no one is off limits. Though she has a particular hate for Shiloh Pitt, Tumblr Suri will tear into just about anyone (including Tom and Katie). After all, “Just because you don’t have a Ferragamo handbag doesn’t mean you can behave like a child.” (Tumblr)
Megan Gibson is a reporter at TIME. Find her on Twitter at @MeganJGibson. You can also continue the discussion on TIME’s Facebook page and on Twitter at @TIME.