Adventures in Gluttony: Denny’s Mac ‘n Cheese Patty Melt Packs In 1690 Calories

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Is a cheeseburger with a side of macaroni and cheese just too much effort? Don’t fret — Denny’s is here for you. The restaurant has just unveiled an artery-clogging monstrosity they call the Mac ‘n Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt that will solve that problem.

The sandwich, according to a press release, starts with a beef patty, adds macaroni and cheese, tops that with Cheddar cheese slices and douses it all in Frisco sauce. The sandwich weighs in at 1690 calories and 99 grams of fat. Plus, it comes with a side of fries.

(MORE: X-Treme Meals: Report Identifies Worst Menu Choices)

The Big Daddy isn’t the lone caloric offender in Denny’s new “Let’s Get Cheesy” menu, though. Next in line is the Winner Winner Cheesy Dinner, which offers “two golden-fried chopped beef steaks covered in pepper jack cheese sauce, served with a side of new creamy Mac ‘n Cheese, broccoli topped with cheese sauce and dinner bread,” clocking in at 1520 calories. And get this — all items on the special cheese-tastic menu can be ordered with “extra ooze” for 69 cents extra. This totally eclipses Denny’s last diet destroyer, the Fried Cheese Melt Sandwich, which put mozzarella sticks inside a grilled cheese sandwich.

If you plan on ordering the Big Daddy anytime soon, why not go big or go home? Enjoy the sandwich with a side of Triple Double Oreos and fried butter on a stick. After all, you only live once — this meal will just shorten said life a tad.