Sorry For Your (Job) Loss: Hallmark Unveils Unemployment Cards

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Courtesy Hallmark

They’re known for saying “Thank You”, “I’m Sorry”, and “Get Well Soon” on your behalf. And now Hallmark hopes you’ll buy one to say “Sorry about your layoff.”

A card is the staple of birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, bar mitzvahs, childbirths – well, really every potential holiday and occurrence. And given the dismal economic straits we’re in, Hallmark has decided to add another occasion for card-giving: unemployment.

(VIDEO: Real Lives of the Long-Term Unemployed)

Taking a cue from the 9.1% of Americans who currently are without a job, the card maker thought that the recently laid-off might need a bit of sympathy. So they took the situation to task, drawing up greetings that range from inspirational to humorous. And here are some of the gems they came up with:

“Don’t think of it as losing your job. Think of it as a time-out between stupid bosses.”

One featuring a cat: “Is there anywhere I could hack up a hairball, like say, on a former employer’s head?”

“Losing your job does not define you. What you do about it does.”

A Hallmark spokesperson told the AFP that they won’t be the strongest sales performers, but the unemployment cards will “meet a relevant and niche consumer need.” Basically, their job is to mourn the loss of your job. Ouch. While we’re skeptical that a card is the best way to express encouragement and sympathy, of course, it’s the thought that counts. But perhaps, as some online commenters have pointed out, that thought could be better used sending the person the $3 you’d spend on a card.

Nick Carbone is a reporter at TIME. Find him on Twitter at @nickcarbone. You can also continue the discussion on TIME’s Facebook page and on Twitter at @TIME.

READ: Are E-Cards Taking Over?

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