‘Puppies vs. Babies’: Yes, This Is a Real Television Show

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Animal Planet

Oh yes, they did.

In what hopefully does not imply an actual throwdown, Animal Planet announced that it will air a new show called Puppies vs. Babies starting October 29.

Their “Here’s How it Works” informational video isn’t short of drama or pomp and circumstance. A booming voice announces that, “Since the dawn of time, no rivalry has been greater, no competition has been fiercer” than that of small canines and young humans. Apparently good vs. evil, night vs. day, et al. had previous engagements.

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As the promo states, the show is the network’s solution to the question of who will win the title of supreme cuteness: puppies, babies, or even (gasp) kittens.  It will weed out the most popular and adorable viral videos and enter them in a playoff bracket, which will be whittled down by a panel of “real world judges and entertainment experts” before the final vote comes down to you, America! (Question: Where does a website sign up to become an “entertainment expert” judge?)

It’s sure to garner a devoted fan base and maybe even a few side-brawls for the top title. Which is not to say that the puppies and babies aren’t adorable, which they are, or that there won’t be cats with ice cream containers encasing their muzzles, which there are.

Either way, it looks like a harmless bit of entertainment for anyone who likes laughing babies and sleeping puppies, and who doesn’t? Besides, the best kinds of competition are the ones where the participants have no clue what’s going on.

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