American Mustache Institute Withdraws Support for Herman Cain

Can Cain still count on the crucial handlebar-mustache vote?

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Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

Herman Cain has been the subject of quite a few scandals recently. And now, the American Mustache Institute (AMI) today announced it had rescinded its endorsement for his presidential candidacy.

The institute initially threw its support behind Cain, who could potentially be the first mustached president since William Howard Taft. As it stands, Cain could be the first major party presidential candidate of Mustached American heritage since Thomas E. Dewey in 1948.

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But it wasn’t even the sexual harassment allegations that made the AMI reconsider its endorsement.

In fact, they say it was allegations of both “pizza and mustache fraud” — claims that Godfather’s Pizza is not as meaty as advertised, and that Cain’s ‘stache is a “theater quality upper-lip garment” — that led members of the AMI administration to say they could not in good conscience support his candidacy on behalf of the powerful Mustached American electorate.

“The truth of the matter is that we are the sharp end of the stick amongst our people,” said Dr. Michael Grubb, the AMI’s director of mustache analysis and curator for the National Mustache History Museum. “We’re going to have to poke a hole in his campaign.”

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