A Valentine’s Gift for the Apple (or Cockroach) of Your Eye

Forget flowers and candy — name a bug after your loved one this February 14.

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Are you looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day present for your nearest and dearest? Does your darling like things a little, shall we say, outside the chocolate box? The Bronx Zoo has a new and daring idea that, if it doesn’t completely gross loved ones out, will surely be loved: naming a cockroach after your heart’s desire.

Don’t bug out, but the Bronx Zoo has 58,000 Madagascar hissing cockroaches on their premises (does the health department know this?) and they can’t possibly name each and everyone of the little critters. That’s why they’ve reached out to the animal lovers among us to consider giving a gift sure to keep on giving, well past any potential nuclear apocalypse.

(LIST: 7 Romantic Valentine’s Day Gifts That Are Actually Useful)

For just $10, you can name a roach after anyone you’d like. Not only do you get to cross Valentine’s Day gift shopping off your list without stepping foot in a mall, but you also walk away with the knowledge that you gave a very unique and undoubtedly memorable gift for a ten-spot. For a few dollars more, your sweetie will receive a hand-crafted chocolate roach sure to please any palate not turned by the sight of cockroaches. Perhaps more importantly, when you purchase this gift, you’ll help support the valuable work of the Wildlife Conservation Society. That’s a gift we can get support, but here are some better ideas:

1. Give the zoo $100 if they promise to keep the cockroaches really really far away.

2. Pay an exterminator to get cockroaches out of your home.

3. Name a roach after an ex. Now that’s a Valentine’s Day idea we can get behind.


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