The Cabin in the Woods
Tagline: You think you know the story.
What else does horror have up its sleeve to be able to shock us? Obituaries have been written and published to such effect over the years that there seems to be plenty riding on The Cabin in the Woods to breathe new life into a genre of film which specializes in death.
But reports of horror’s death have been greatly exaggerated, if the reaction to Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard’s movie is anything to go by. And it’s all the more surprising when you find out what we do have to go by: Five friends go to a remote cabin in the woods, and bad things happen. Not exactly earth-shattering. But throw into the mix a diary found in the – but of course! — creepy basement, resplendent with Latin scribblings, and events get even livelier. And to say any more would truly be to give the game away.
So read these rave reviews at your peril. “It works thrillingly for audiences, especially the pointy-headed kind who have been trained to predict the outcomes of every week’s slasher,” notes Time Out New York. “Is it scary?” asks New York magazine. “Not especially. But there are enough gory surprises around every bend to keep you laughing/screaming/cringing.” And the Associated Press gets to the heart of the matter by analyzing how this movie is just what we and horror in general needs: “As Goddard and Whedon jump back and forth, the pieces snap into place; then just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, they throw something else at you.”
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The Three Stooges
Tagline: Just Say Moe.
There’s a fairly funny joke going around which basically goes like this: Who’s looking forward to The Three Stooges? Fans of Jack and Jill. In case you’re unaware, Adam Sandler’s “comedy” topped many critics’ worst-of lists (including this very publication) and there isn’t much hope being held out for The Three Stooges, directed (perhaps with a sense of weary inevitability) by the Farrelly Brothers.
The film marries the old with the new. Left on a nun’s doorstep, Larry (Sean Hayes), Curly (Will Sasso) and Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos) grow up doing all the things you love them for: finger-poking, nyuk-nyuking and getting into all kinds of trouble. But when they try to save their childhood home, they somehow become involved in a murder plot while stumbling into an incredibly successful reality TV show.
But what do three critics make of it? Roger Ebert gets straight down to business: “I didn’t laugh much.” The AV Club isn’t much more positive, saying that “The Three Stooges isn’t very funny, but it is, like last year’s far superior The Muppets, a sincere act of fandom on an epic scale.” But the McClatchy-Tribune News Service is considerably more upbeat, noting that “The Farrellys, who have fallen off raunchy comedy’s cutting edge in recent years, manage the right tone.”
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Lockout
Tagline: Take No Prisoners
Lockout follows a falsely convicted ex-government agent (Guy Pearce), whose one shot at gaining freedom comes if he’s willing to rescue the President’s daughter (Maggie Grace) from rioting convicts at an outer space maximum-security prison. Yes, this film is set in the near future.
And the script for Lockout (presumably from the near past) was co-written by one Luc Besson, who used to make interesting movies. This time around, his words are directed by the duo that is Stephen St. Leger and James Mather. But you kind of feared the worst even before reading The Village Voice’s damning critique: “The committee product of newbie directors James Mather, Stephen St. Leger, and producer Luc Besson, Lockout is, not unexpectedly, a potluck of derivative references.”
At least Time Out New York is kinder (albeit with its tongue firmly in its reviewing cheek), asking “where else are you going to find terse, Hawksian flirtation and — that perennial chestnut — a foreign-accented baddie”? But Variety takes no prisoners, concluding that “the tension goes slack even as the pacing remains relentless, and the climactic unraveling of story threads is the result of fairly desultory detective work.”
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NewsFeed’s Flicks Pick: Some say that horror movies have lost the capacity to surprise, but it shouldn’t be a surprise that The Cabin in the Woods is our clear pick of the week.