Just when you thought the world’s pizzamongers couldn’t pack any more mind-boggling ingredients into a pizza crust, they did. Pizza Hut Middle East has just introduced their latest heart attack on a plate, the “Crown Crust Cheeseburger Pizza.”
It’s actually fairly impressive. In a few short years, our gastric masterminds have gone from “hey, let’s stuff a pizza crust with cheese” to “hey, let’s stuff a pizza crust with hot dogs” to “hey, isn’t this what the Mayans warned us about?” Their piece de resistance, the Crown Crust Pizza features entire cheeseburgers set around the outside of the pie, acting as “gems” around the “crown.” The pizza itself is covered with traditional burger toppings like lettuce, tomatoes, ground beef and a special sauce.
For the more health-conscious, to use the loosest possible definition of that term, there’s a chicken fillet version, slathered in barbecue sauce and green peppers.
The original incarnation of the Crown Crust Pizza, Eater reports, first congealed in 2010, and featured alternating “gems” of meatballs and Philadelphia cream cheese balls stuffed in the crust.
So far the American fast food chain has only released these Frankenstein-like creations in the U.K. and the Middle East. It’s possible this is a ploy to finally knock the U.S. off its shameful pedestal as the unhealthiest country in the world. After all, if you can’t get your own people to eat healthier, maybe just try and make the rest of the world fatter?
We’re sure this isn’t the last we’re going to see from the stuffed crust genre, so we figured we’d take guess at what other pizza creations are in the works:
- Buffalo Wing Stuffed Crust Pizza: This is just a no-brainer. Apparently the Philadelphia City Paper blog Meal Ticket tried out three variations of this pizza awhile back, but to our knowledge it’s not yet on the menu at any major chains. Get on it, Pizza Hut!
- Chicken Pot Pie Stuffed Crust Pizza: Pizza Hut can keep with its “Crown Pizza” theme and feature each chicken pot pie sitting like gems around the pie “crown.” Perfect for comfort food lovers.
- Clam Chowder in a Bread Bowl Stuffed Pizza: Perfect for those rainy days, soup can be poured into the bread crust bowls surrounding the pizza pie. Clam chowder and tomato soups would make perfect pairings with the pizza, which can either feature seafood toppings, or tomatoes, basil and croutons.
- Pumpple Cake Stuffed Crust Pizza: Created in a Philadelphia bakery a few years ago, the Pumpple Cake is a pumpkin pie and apple pie baked into a chocolate and vanilla cake, covered in buttercream frosting. It weighs 15 pounds, stands over a foot tall, and contains 1,800 calories a slice. Possible main pizza toppings can include pecans, cinnamon, and brownie bites.
- The Turbaconducken Stuffed Crust Pizza: That’s a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey, wrapped in bacon, and then stuffed into a pizza crust. What? Anything’s possible. Pizza Hut, call us.