Emo PSA: Your Stupid Haircut Could Be Ruining Your Eye

It's not just bad for your social life — it's bad for your health, says one guy

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The trademark emo haircut — long bangs swept dramatically over one eye — is a symbol of your deep inner pain, like when you forgot those My Chemical Romance lyrics and all your emo friends laughed at you, or that time your MySpace page wouldn’t load. But beware! According to one expert quoted in one newspaper, there’s a danger of physical pain as well: those haircuts may be bad for your sad, beautiful eyes.

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Andrew Hogan, a national executive member of Australia’s Optometrists’ Association, told the Daily Telegraph that the floppy, Justin Bieber–esque ’do could lead to amblyopia — lazy eye. “If a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won’t see a lot of detail … And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic,” he said. According to Hogan, the asymmetrical fringe acts as an eye patch: “If you walk around with an eye patch on all day, then that eye will end up seeing more poorly than the other eye.”

“Veteran hairdresser” Roseanne Anderson also suggests that the fringe poses risks to young people’s posture, because of the incessant head tilting and hair flicking that inevitably ensues:

“I have to wonder how they don’t get a stiff neck … I have seen lots of fashions come and go — but really when I think about it, this is probably the only hairstyle in my 40 years of hairdressing that could be a health hazard.”

Good thing other eye professionals say the whole thing is complete and utter nonsense. “This is a crazy idea, the concept of this blocking vision and causing problems with sight,” Auckland-based ophthalmologist Justin Mora told TV New Zealand. “It’s just silly.” But maybe get a haircut, just in case.

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