Singles Cruise for the 1%: Where Money Buys Love, Sort of

All aboard! Please have your tickets and financial statements ready.

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Pause for a moment and consider how hard it must be for the 1%. The hassling by Occupy Wall Street types, the constant harping from Warren Buffett about how you should really pay more taxes, the incessant chatter of all those people trying to make you feel guilty about your fabulous wealth. It all wreaks havoc on one’s personal life. No wonder creepy finance guys have such trouble dating.

Thankfully, there’s now an answer. Behold: Exclusive dating for singles in the 1%. As Rich Gosse, Chairman of The Society of Single Professionals, explains:

“Everyone thinks the wealthy have it easy finding love. Nothing could be further from the truth. The 1% live in constant fear that their money will attract gold diggers, seeking to enrich themselves. The 1% Singles Cruise and 1% Singles Ball will be opportunities for the wealthy to comfortably meet people on their own level, so they can feel more confident that the attraction is romantic rather than financial.”

Claiming to have neglected affluent singletons for the past three decades, the Society of Single Professionals — which bills itself as the world’s largest non-profit singles organization — plans to begin launching events catering exclusively to the very rich. First, comes a ‘1% Singles Ball’ at the Renaissance Stanford Court Hotel (“San Francisco’s most luxurious hotel”) on Friday, May 25, followed by a cruise from Turkey to Barcelona, scheduled to sail November 4-17, 2012. Read the entire amazing press release here.

The voyage on Crystal Cruise Line’s Serenity (“voted the #1 Cruise Ship in the world by readers of Conde Nast Traveler“) departs from Istanbul, Turkey, and heads to the Greek islands before moving onto Sicily, with a final stop in Barcelona, Spain. For $14,455, you can rent out the ship’s penthouse — oh, but airfare is not included. If that’s a deal breaker, you’re probably not rich enough to come anyway. Sorry.

MORE: Travel like the 1%: Top 10 Expensive Destinations