Friday Flicks: Is ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’ Better than ‘Mirror Mirror’?

NewsFeed's guide to the films to see (and avoid) this weekend.

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Snow White and the Huntsman

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It’s well-known that Hollywood tends to bring out movies in pairs. It’s the end of the world? Let’s have ourselves some Deep Impact and Armeggedon. Is that America on the horizon? How about 1492: Conquest of Paradise and Christopher Columbus: The Discovery. And now a classic fairy tale gets the same treatment, as Snow White and the Huntsman follows quickly on the heels of Mirror Mirror.

Whereas Mirror Mirror had Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen, this film casts Charlize Theron in the role. What’s more, Twilight fans can rejoice at Kristen Stewart as the eponymous Snow White, the subject of the Queen’s scorn. Unbeknownst to our baddie, young Ms. White has been training in the art of war with a huntsman, played by Chris Hemsworth. It’s turning into quite the year for everyone’s new favorite Australian, who is carving out a niche for throwing, hitting and jumping, thanks to Thor and now this tentpole.

But if you only see one movie about the famous fairy tale character this year, which one should it be? “Stunningly shot and inconsistently acted and written, Snow White has enough visual fireworks to keep the film afloat, even if star Kristen Stewart can’t get out of Twilight mode,” says USA Today in a relative rave. The New York Times goes even further, stating that “There is something exciting about how seriously Snow White and the Huntsman takes its themes.” But The Guardian keeps everything in check, concluding that “the result is tangled and overblown.” And so we turn for final confirmation to Rotten Tomatoes and its meter, for that shall be the definitive way to find out. Which is the fairest of them all? You couldn’t make it up, they both scored 50%

REVIEW: TIME on Snow White and the Huntsman

Piranha 3DD

Tagline: Double The Action. Double The Terror. Double The D’s.

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The Weinstein Company can try and make us believe all they want about their commitment to classy cinema (bonjour, The Artist) but there’s still a place in their heart for a movie called Piranha 3DD.

And there’s no point in even pretending that there’s a deep and meaningful plot going on here, as we are in the realms of utter fantasy (and not the Game of Thrones kind). For those of you who didn’t catch the original Piranha 3D, well, a hint: the movie is about piranhas.

But this time around, they’re targeting the visitors at The Big Wet Water Park (seriously, Freud would have had a field day with the subtext here). Christopher Lloyd once again does his eccentric expert schtick with Paul Scheer and (the partially devoured) Ving Rhames along for the ride. Naturally, David Hasselhoff rocks up as a celebrity lifeguard and there’s even room for Gary Busey to do his thing (and when you work out when Busey’s thing is, please let us know).

And the critics couldn’t be happier to sink their teeth into it. But not in a good way. “Even the gore is sporadic, poorly staged and unimaginative: as a result, this is neither fish nor foul,” concludes Time Out London. “Ups the self-parody so much that it’s practically a Wayans Brothers spoof, albeit with fewer jokes,” is Variety‘s well-played zinger. And Britain’s legendary Radio Times hits the nail on the head. “‘Welcome to rock bottom’ says David Hasselhoff, reduced to badly emulating his role in Baywatch. He never spoke a truer word.”

MORE: Not Just a Day at the Beach: Piranhas Bite 100 in Brazil

NewsFeed’s Flicks Pick: Isn’t it obvious? Piranha 3DD all the way! We kid, we kid.

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