Even though Cara Santa Maria of the Huffington Post isn’t a physics expert (wipe those smirks off your faces, guys — she’s actually a neuroscientist), she’ll use an incredibly complicated metaphor to explain the Higgs boson. And she’ll talk really fast while doing it. So everyone’s looking for a wire in a bomb, and that’s the Higgs. Or, if you didn’t like that analogy, consider thinking about the Higgs as a giraffe. At this point Santa Maria apologizes for how poorly she explained everything and asks readers to submit their own analogies.