What Counts as “Legitimate Rape”? Let This Song Be Your Guide

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock or stuck on Mars zapping one for the past week, you’ll know about the ruckus caused by Missouri congressman Todd Akin over the issue of abortion. While being interviewed on a St. Louis TV show, the conservative Akin — who is running against Democrat Claire McCaskill for Senate — was asked whether he supported abortion in the case of women who have been raped. His now-immortal response:

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Disregarding the extremely sketchy science behind this idea — that a woman’s body would somehow biologically protect her from a forced pregnancy — Akin’s statement prompted another confounding question: what the heck is “legitimate rape,” anyway?

Thankfully, Taylor Ferrera has the answer.

On her YouTube page, the New York-based singer-songwriter said:

“A lot of controversy over Todd Akin’s comments on “Legitimate Rape” and the miracles a woman’s uterus can do when it happens. But how does the uterus KNOW when the rape is legitimate?

“Finally, someone with answers – Me.”

As Ferrera’s folk-pop ditty puts it, if you’re “a little drunk,” know the rapist well or were wearing a “kinda short skirt” — well, that’s not legitimate rape at all. If you’re married to the man? “That’s a husband’s privilege!” And if you’re pregnant from rape? “Clearly not legitimate!” After all, from what Akin understands from doctors, “that’s really rare.”

And she’s even put a catchy tune to it.