There’s a new pen in town, and it’s getting rave reviews on Amazon. Like from user breemeup: “Finally! For years I’ve had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever).”
A serious review? Not even close. But its tongue-in-cheek nature is better than Bic could have expected for such a product.
The “womanly pen” referred to in the review is part of Bic’s new line of pens, called “Bic Cristal for Her,” a ballpoint pen that comes in an array of pastel colors (though only blue or black ink, for now). On Amazon, the company describes the pen as having a “thin barrel to fit a women’s (sic) hand,” making it an “elegant design—just for her!” The Bic website also notes that the pen features a clear tinted barrel “for visible ink supply,” because apparently women can’t otherwise tell when a pen has run out of ink. It’s impossible to overlook the oozing sexism, and the possibly sarcastic (or possibly not?) statements. But surprisingly, Bic has found very little ink on its hands with this latest venture. Amazon has responded in kind to Bic’s perceived ignorance, by turning on the snark.
Breemeup’s review continues with an aggrandized ode to the pen-maker: “I had despaired of ever being able to write down said recipes in a permanent manner, though my men-folk assured me that I “shouldn’t worry yer pretty little head”. But, AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic!
The Cristal pens have generated hundreds of fake Amazon reviews across the Amazon U.K. and U.S. sites over the past two weeks, the Washington Post reports. The pens are currently only available in Europe, though U.S. residents eager to engage in the revelatory feminine writing experience can nab theirs from the online retailer’s foreign site.
While Bic’s pen is being considered an utter failure and embarrassment by the online masses, the onslaught of hilarious fake reviews generated because of it has been a source of endless entertainment. As NBC News notes, it’s not the first time Amazon has been trolled by fake reviews, but the Cristal pen has yielded some of the funniest. The prose hearkens back to a time long past — much like the pen, as many have noted — something that might have been commonplace in the 1950s.
“The delicate shape and pretty pastel colors make it perfect for writing recipe cards, checks to my psychologist (I’m seeing him for a case of the hysterics), and tracking my monthly cycle,” reviewer E. Bradley “LuckyLady1978” wrote. And it seems to be mostly women sounding off sarcastically.
After all, the male commenters have “proof” that the Cristal for Her is really not “for Him,” Amazon user daveyclayton shared his experience: “I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day’s tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks.”
Silly Davey, Cristal pens are for women.
MORE: The Price of Sexism