Workers of the World Unite! This is the weekend that Americans of every political stripe band together to celebrate a totally Socialist holiday. Luckily, there’s shopping. Just try not to kill yourself. (TIME.com)
Boy, Do We Feel Lucky: With a stunning and often bewildering speech at the Republican National Convention, Clint Eastwood singlehandedly made the Internet a better place, full of #eastwooding, Simpsons references and replays of that awesome Gorillaz song. Here are the best Twitter reactions to his speech. (TIME.com)
Ronnie Had His Back: In case Clint couldn’t make it, was the RNC going to roll out a hologram Ronald Reagan for the masses? The Internet says yes. (Flavorwire)
Farewell, Andy Roddick: The U.S. tennis star is hanging up his racket. BuzzFeed remembers his greatest moment. (BuzzFeed)
How Not to Be Pretty: Bathing in ammonia and 10 other terrible 19th Century beauty tips. (Mental Floss)
The Surprising Story of Bangles: No, not those Bangles. The sparkly wristwear sold by the millions every year in India and Pakistan starts off as broken glass picked up off the streets by poverty-stricken women. (Divanee)
Fab Family: Wills, Kate and the Queen preside over the 2012 Paralympics in London. Hmm, wonder why there’s no sign of Prince Harry? (GoFugYourself)
Maru’s Moment: The Internet’s favorite cat has a lesson for all of us about effort. (The Daily Wh.at)
Drink and Run: In this awesome beer commercial spoof of an ’80s movie car chase, the most important thing is not to spill your beer. (Viral Viral Videos)