Riding the subway has unavoidable drawbacks, such as delays or being forced chest-to-chest with strangers (whom you are not attracted to) during rush hour. But there are plenty of unpleasant, avoidable behaviors prime for Bloomberg-banning. These include but are not limited to:
• Excessive public displays of affection
• The transport of pungent foodstuffs
• Listening to music so loud that your headphones might as well be on other people’s ears
• Aggressive proselytizing
• Eye contact
• Taking up an entire subway pole by leaning against it while others struggle for a handhold
• Taking up an entire seat with one’s handbag, rucksack, grocery shopping, pet carrier etc.
• Lodging any part of your body in closing subway car doors and thereby holding up the entire train
• Not wearing deodorant
Violators of these rules should be forced to walk, take mercilessly expensive taxi rides or be strapped to the outside of the subway car instead. And don’t think the MTA staff should be let off the hook: It’s time to put an end those muffled, garbled conductor announcements that so frequently cause everyone an accidental trip to Queens.
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