After Police Find Drugs in Man’s Pocket, He Claims Pants Aren’t His

Note to all adults: "Not me" no longer works when your age exceeds single digits.

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Jaime Oppenheimer / The Wichita Eagle / MCT / Getty Images

Generic drugs at Consumer's Pharmacy, including oxycodone

From the department of unexpected excuses: a man claimed the pants he was wearing weren’t his to skirt the blame for having illegal prescription pills in the pocket.

A 30-year-old Florida man concocted such an outlandish excuse when he was arrested in Grove City — located in Charlotte County, about 50 miles northwest of Fort Myers. A Charlotte County Sheriff’s deputy was patrolling the small hamlet of just 1,800 people last Monday afternoon when he spotted an unfamiliar man biking through a neighborhood. Recent burglaries in the oceanfront town prompted the deputy to stop the man, identified as James Edwin White, according to a press release from the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office.

(MORE: Super-Duper Hydrocodone? An Open Letter to Big Pharma)

When questioned about whether he had any illegal items in his possession, White said he didn’t, and permitted the officer to search him. The deputy noticed White was trembling and stuttering, and his hands were shaking. As he searched the fidgety biker, the officer saw White shifting objects around in the right front pocket of his pants and asked him to stop. White obeyed, but then the deputy reached into the right front pocket of White’s pants and discovered nine oxycodone pills packaged in cellophane and a cut blue straw — frequently used to snort narcotics — that contained powdery residue, according to the release.

White’s response, as the officer pulled the drugs out of his pocket: “Oh, wait, these aren’t my pants!”

The 30-year-old White tried to tell the officer that he had “just thrown on” the pants, which he claimed belonged to his uncle and that he had no knowledge of the pills. But it was an excuse that fell flat; the deputy arrested White for Possession of Oxycodone and Possession of Drug Paraphernalia. White continued to repeat his claims on the way to jail, where he was released after posting a $3,500 bond.

In recent years, Florida has been one of the most popular places in the nation for oxycodone dealing, according to the Orlando Sentinel. But the Prescription Drug Monitoring Program, created in 2009, monitors doctors and the drugs they prescribe and fighting against an oversupply of the pills. It’s made the drug more expensive — but also more coveted in Florida. The Associated Press reported that Rhode Island police arrested a Fort Lauderdale-area man near East Providence, R.I. after they pulled him over Saturday for speeding and discovered more than 900 oxycodone pills in his car.

MORE: Study: Former NFL Players Are Popping Painkillers and in ‘Poor Health’

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