Who says dogs are man’s best friend? If anything, pop culture has shown us that our real best companions are inanimate objects. From brownie husband to Otto the inflatable pilot to Lars and his real girl, there is a rich tradition of human surrogacy unparalleled by most warm-blooded relationships (except for maybe this one).
Now, Michigan-based Deluxe Comfort is raising the bar again with the Boyfriend Body Pillow. Deluxe Comfort describes the object as “a soft body pillow that looks like the torso of a man with a comforting arm that cuddles and holds you throughout the night.” More importantly, it prescribes the headless half-torso for “people whose partner is away on military leave or work absence. Singles, who desire to feel the touch of a man, without actually having to be with one, will love it too.”
The body pillow weighs two pounds and costs $34.95, far less than the dinner tabs for all of the failed dates that could eventually lead to finding a real-life sleepmate. Its comfortable arm makes for a peaceful sleeping experience without having to worry about annoying things like breathing, snoring or night terrors.
Deluxe Comfort has something for all the lonely or insomniac males of the world, as well. The Girlfriend Body Pillow has “a breast-like sensation,” a girlfriend-y pink color scheme and a mysteriously yellow hand. She’s also $5 cheaper than the boyfriend pillow. And guys don’t need to learn how to disengage from cuddling with the hug-and-roll technique.