A new year is right around the corner, and that means it’s time to reflect on the one that’s now wrapping up. For many, this means beginning to compile various lists of the year’s most important events, controversial scandals and influential people. Barbara Walters, for example, has her annual lineup of the year’s most fascinating people, and here at TIME, we have our candidates for Person of the Year.
The folks over at GQ are also keeping up the tradition — with a twist. Its editors have decided to “count down the twenty-five least significant men and women of 2012,” providing us with an exhaustive collection of “people so uninspiring that we should round them all up and stick them on an iceberg.” Well, at least they’re being honest.
There’s just one minor caveat: “Please note that these folks are ranked in no particular order, because all zeros are created equal.” Harsh, maybe, but mathematically precise.
Kicking off the snark-fest is Mitt Romney — remember him? “The only successful thing he did this year,” GQ says, “was embody every black stand-up comedian’s impression of a white person.” He’s joined by fellow 2012 campaign icon Michelle Obama, who earned a spot on the list because her efforts to get Americans to eat healthier have so far failed, wilting beneath her like a water-deprived vegetable garden.
Some of the year’s other least influential people include Guy Fieri, Ryan Lochte, Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer, Lance Armstrong, Aaron Sorkin, Jim Lehrer and “the remaining scraps of Occupy Wall Street.” See the complete 25-person list here.