The Santa Interviewed by Fox & Friends Apparently Belongs on the Naughty List

Turns out the rosy-cheeked Santa is actually kind of a ho-ho-horny old man.

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Last week, the hosts of Fox News’ morning talk show Fox & Friends interviewed Santa Claus to address the ongoing problem of the “War on Christmas.” Not the real Saint Nick, of course, but a rather prolific Santa impersonator named Sal Lizard,  who has even penned a book about the true meaning of Christmas. In full Santa regalia, Lizard explained that our collective cultural shift toward saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” is basically ruining everything.

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But while he may have the beard and the bowl-full-of-jelly belly, it seems that Lizard is anything but pure as the driven snow. The bloggers over at Douchechillz decided to do a background check on the jolly old elf and found some YouTube videos suggesting that this rosy-cheeked Santa is actually kind of a ho-ho-horny old man. The bloggers cobbled together a new video, seen above, that combines clips of Lizard’s Fox interview with some of his previous appearances, in which we learn that the Santa impersonator is also a self-proclaimed “actor, stand-up comic and a pleaser of women.”

Some of Lizard’s seemingly innocuous comments on Fox & Friends  — such as “I like to think I’m a Santa for boys and girls of all ages” — take on an infinitely creepier meaning now that we know he has also said things like, “When you’re an old man, you appreciate young girls, if you know what I mean” and “If any of you gals out there want to sit on my lap, I’ll be there for you.”

Oh, Sal Lizard fans can also buy this t-shirt on his website. Merry Christmas!

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