This Exists: Greek Yogurt for Men

Could great abs be a spoonful away?

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What’s the secret to great abs? Apparently, it’s Greek yogurt.

That’s how one company is getting men to eat more of the stuff — a strained, thicker-textured version of the common breakfast staple, which is rich in protein so it keeps you feeling satiated longer.

“Powerful” is a fat-free, eight-ounce serving of Greek goodness chock full of calcium, live active bacteria, and extra protein to help men strengthen their muscles, stay slim, and maintain a healthy digestive tract. The website boasts photos of shirtless, sweaty men with bulging muscles lifting weights on almost every page. Flavors of Powerful —Nicknamed “brogurt” — include plain, mango, banana, strawberry, apple-cinnamon, and blueberry-acai.

(MORE: How Chobani Spread Greek Yogurt Across America)

“From the time of the Greeks, abs have represented dedication, strength, power, and success,” the Powerful website says. “In a niche typically dominated by female consumers, we decided to develop a new Greek yogurt specifically suited to address the unique health and nutrition needs of the most neglected consumers in the category: men.”

Why aren’t more men eating Greek yogurt? Because it tastes bad, says TIME’s food writer Josh Ozersky, “a sour tang that reverberates with every bite, making you long for the most vile processed pudding you can remember eating.” And women are pretty possessive about their tart snack. In the Dannon Oikos commercial that aired during the third quarter of Super Bowl 2012, a woman head-butts actor John Stamos when he scoots over for a taste:

(MORE: Greek Yogurt: Good For Your Health, But Bad Tasting)

But the idea of a yogurt for men has mostly just been fodder for satirists. A 2008 Onion article (jokingly) announced Yoplait’s new “Texas-style yogurt” with “enough rich and velvety vanilla flavor to kill a full-grown buffalo” and “so thick it takes a 200-pound coal miner five whole minutes to mix it all up.” And in November 2012, Conan aired a commercial for “Brozen Yogurt,” a fro-yo shop that offers nacho cheese-flavored yogurt and toppings like chicken wings (hat-tip The Atlantic):

What’s next? Greek yogurt for kids? Actually, yes.

MORE: Even Ben & Jerry’s Is Jumping on the Greek Yogurt Craze

4 comments
StefanBeckman
StefanBeckman

" strengthen their muscles, stay slim, and maintain a healthy digestive tract."

Do I have to strech my muscles after eating this ... ;-)

antoninoroca1
antoninoroca1

Consumption of lactobacillus containing food, has a direct correlation with male impotence, is a fact and even Socrates  mentioned it.

Tamon
Tamon

@antoninoroca1 someone should've told him that hemlock ain't so good for ya either

ugulix
ugulix

yogurt takes your manhood???