Want To Change The National Anthem To R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)”? Sign This Petition

If this passes, hip-hop lovers will be poppin' Crystal in a stretch Navigator.

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The First Amendment of the United States Constitution protects the right to petition the government for the redress of grievances. For example, if you think that Francis Scott Key’s “Star Spangled Banner” is hackneyed and unsingable and no longer fit to represent our great country, you have the right to petition the government to change the National Anthem to something more appropriate.

(MORE: Aerosmith vs. Modern Lovers: Battle of the Bands Brewing Over Massachusetts’ State Rock Song)

A recent petition on the White House website, titled “We petition the Obama administration to: change the national anthem to R. Kelly’s 2003 hit “Ignition (Remix)” lays out the following proposal:

We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and — perhaps most importantly — that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.

This cause only needs 95,329 more signatures to meet the goal of 100,000 by Apr. 2. At that point, the White House will have to respond, just as it had to respond to the petition to begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. So head to Whitehouse.gov  now if you want to support the campaign to ensure that the nation bumps and grinds before all sporting events and swearings-in — or argue Aerosmith’s “Dream On” would make an even better national anthem.

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13 comments
sawdeekrap9
sawdeekrap9

Are you kidding me!  This is not a national anthem. 

VeronicaCantu
VeronicaCantu

hahaha!  Is this for real? *sigh* I'm sorry but this doesn't give me chills like the star spangled banner.  It doesn't make me proud to be an American and just reminds me of how stupid some people can be.

ChrisNDebbieGallagher
ChrisNDebbieGallagher

This is just sick as it can be I say hell no. What are we coming to wake up people and smell the coffee this is wrong just plan wrong.

ShavirHarrysunker
ShavirHarrysunker

DO IT!

Kels needs to be honoured for the legendary music he's brought us for the last 20 years

f*** anyone who disagrees

KassiO'Neal
KassiO'Neal

how obsurd can people get? changing the anthem? really?!!! NO!

TrishLewis
TrishLewis

NO! dont let this happen, its absolutely obsurd

Mke84
Mke84

Maybe we should replace "God Bless America" with a Chris Brown song...  I was wondering what the next stupid thing would be but I guess I had more faith in humanity cause I never thought it would be this idiotic. 

majolanthabi
majolanthabi

I can imagine when USA is playing against RSA, when is time for to sing the national anthem RSA Nkosi sikelela...... and then USA This is a remix.....OMG !!!!!!!!! 

Shegz
Shegz

So tempted to sign this, but the government has more important things to do... like building a new Death Star haha.

AlyshaAronson
AlyshaAronson

The government clearly has more pressing issues to respond to! Stop mucking up their time with crap like this.

StevieMcFly
StevieMcFly

Oh God, a joke I did has been reported upon by Time, what is happening.