Want To Change The National Anthem To R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)”? Sign This Petition

If this passes, hip-hop lovers will be poppin' Crystal in a stretch Navigator.

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The First Amendment of the United States Constitution protects the right to petition the government for the redress of grievances. For example, if you think that Francis Scott Key’s “Star Spangled Banner” is hackneyed and unsingable and no longer fit to represent our great country, you have the right to petition the government to change the National Anthem to something more appropriate.

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A recent petition on the White House website, titled “We petition the Obama administration to: change the national anthem to R. Kelly’s 2003 hit “Ignition (Remix)” lays out the following proposal:

We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and — perhaps most importantly — that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.

This cause only needs 95,329 more signatures to meet the goal of 100,000 by Apr. 2. At that point, the White House will have to respond, just as it had to respond to the petition to begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. So head to Whitehouse.gov  now if you want to support the campaign to ensure that the nation bumps and grinds before all sporting events and swearings-in — or argue Aerosmith’s “Dream On” would make an even better national anthem.

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