Granted, there are worse ways to do it — say, through a Post-It note. But if you are going to break up with someone and can’t bear to do it in person, here’s a tech-savvy way out.
BreakupText is a tongue-in-cheek iPhone app designed by Jake Levine and Lauren Leto that will compose a long-winded text — gotta sound sincere, after all — in a matter of seconds to deliver the bad news. First, the app asks you a few basic questions, such as your gender, if the relationship was serious or casual and whether the reason you’re breaking it off involves the fact that you found someone else, lost interest or were eaten by a bear.
Levine and Leto said they were initially inspired by an acquaintance’s romantic exploits in Hong Kong. “There was at least one time when the girl didn’t respond — which obviously happens when you pick up people at the bar,” Levine told Fast Company. “So they thought it’d be hilarious to send really long, emotional, dramatic breakup texts.”
Here’s an example:
My dear Johnny, I know you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. I don’t know how to tell you this, but you know how Sara always acts like an idiot when wasted? Well, on our camping trip we saw a bear and she antagonized it. I know you hate when Sara acts like that. Well, I do as well. Because that bear unhinged his jaw and shoved me into his stomach. So yeah, I’m stuck in a bear. Somewhere upstate, it doesn’t feel like this guy moves a lot, I’d ask you to come find me and cut me out but maybe this is for the best, you know? We were fighting all the time, I hated my job, my parents are still upset I didn’t become a lawyer … as I sit in this dark acid hole, I can’t think of enough reasons to punch my way out. So remember me fondly, make it sound like I died a hero. Love you.
Well, to be fair, we just don’t know how you would deliver that one in-person.