This is the only video you need to see today. Or ever, maybe. Just three glorious minutes of a giant bear playing a mean game of tetherball.
His name is LG, and he lives at the Animal Ark wildlife sanctuary in Reno. LG has a tragic backstory (he almost froze and starved to death as an orphaned cub) but clearly has overcome adversity and is now on track to becoming the world’s premier ursine tetherball champion.
Seriously, has anyone bought the film rights to this story yet? Because there needs to be a movie about this as soon as possible. In the meantime, we’d like to humbly submit the following casting and plot suggestions: Kevin Spacey as Rex, the surly and jaded former tetherball champion who rediscovers his love of the game and coaches LG all the way to the Olympics while simultaneously reviving his own joie de vivre; Holly Hunter as Autumn, LG’s dedicated caretaker who’s been wounded emotionally and physically by too many men and too many bears, respectively, but learns to love again thanks to Rex; Josh Duhamel as Grayson, Autumn’s deceased husband who died in a freak bear attack and appears throughout the film in a series of flashbacks; and Quvenzhané Wallis as Autumn’s reclusive adopted daughter who learns the meaning of trust thanks to the unlikely friendship she builds with LG.
Your move, Hollywood.