Where One Man Has Gone Before: Meet the Real Captain Kirk

Only his ship isn't called the USS Enterprise.

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Captain James Kirk
Courtesy of Captain James Kirk

Captain James Kirk will take the helm of the Navy’s newest, fastest, and stealthiest ship: the USS Zumwalt. Wait, what?

The Zumwalt boasts cool new weapons, an onboard power plant, and a captain who shares the name of the storied Star Trek commander (though this Kirk’s middle initial is “A” instead of T”).  The ship’s brand-new hull design will reduce its radar signature, making it the first of the next generation of warships. Okay, but does it have warp drive or a holodeck?

To be fair, the Zumwalt’s on-deck power plant does produce enough electricity to power 47,000 American homes, which is more than enough to fire off all the phasers needed to fend off the Klingons and save the federation from a brutal intergalactic battle.

3 comments
DeweySayenoff
DeweySayenoff

So when a real Captain James Tiberius Kirk takes command of a vessel, will the headline say, "Where A Few Men Have Almost Gone Before: Meet The Realer Captain Kirk"?

Oh, and a slight correction on that story:

1. The USS Enterprise NCC-1701 commanded, and destroyed by, James T. Kirk never had a holodeck.  The holodeck was first installed on the Enterprise-D under Jean Luc Picard some 70 years after Kirk's time.

2. All Starfleet vessels from Kirk's time were vessels of exploration capable of self defense.  The U.S.S. Defiant was the first Starfleet vessel built as an offensive weapons platform and was classified as an "escort".

3. Starfleet was not a military organization, but followed a military command structure.

4. The USS Zumwaldt is a Navy Destroyer, a man-o-war, and as such, in JTK's time, would have been assigned to planetary defense under a Defense branch of some kind of the UFP - not Starfleet.  Kirk often said Starfleet is not a military organization.  It's more like the Coast Guard - a multirole organization that uses a military hierarchy and will be used for military operations for defense purposes, but whose primary mission is exploration and aid.

(Note to nit-pickers: This is based on the original series, since the picture is of William Shatner.  I know what happened in JJ Abram's reboot.  That's an alternate timeline.  Even still, the Christopher Pine "James Kirk" fought to keep the dreadnaught built in secret under a rogue admiral's command from being used since it was a purely military first strike platform and stood against everything the Federation, and Starfleet, believed in.)

God, I'm way too much of a Trekkie...  Guess it comes from watching the original series when it was first aired. I'm going to nip off and shoot myself now...

Stormin17751
Stormin17751

@DeweySayenoff The Coast Guard doesn't go on 5 year missions to explore beyond the coast.  Your Coast Guard explanation is incorrect.  

yshabazz2
yshabazz2

You're a total nerd...but I think I like you.