Which State Is the Biggest?

On this list, Texas doesn't even make the top 40.

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Condomania.com, which claims to be America’s first online condom store (who knew!), has decided to conduct its own very important, highly scientific study*. According to a press release, the website compiled condom sales data by state to find out which states bought a higher-than-average amount of larger-sized condoms.

The result? A list of all 50 states, “ordered by penis size”–and some surprising news for the Dakotas.

  1. North Dakota
  2. Rhode Island
  3. South Dakota
  4. District of Columbia
  5. Massachusetts
  6. Ohio
  7. Arizona
  8. Alabama
  9. New York
  10. South Carolina
  11. Colorado
  12. Maryland
  13. Wisconsin
  14. New Jersey
  15. California
  16. Florida
  17. Connecticut
  18. Virginia
  19. Oregon
  20. Pennsylvania
  21. Washington
  22. Tennessee
  23. New Mexico
  24. Iowa
  25. Illinois
  26. Louisiana
  27. Vermont
  28. Utah
  29. Maine
  30. Nebraska
  31. Idaho
  32. Kansas
  33. Delaware
  34. Michigan
  35. Nevada
  36. New Hampshire
  37. Oklahoma
  38. Montana
  39. Minnesota
  40. Kentucky
  41. Texas
  42. Indiana
  43. West Virginia
  44. Missouri
  45. Alaska
  46. North Carolina
  47. Wyoming
  48. Arkansas
  49. Hawaii
  50. Mississippi

Of course, since the Condomania data is based on what size condoms people are purchasing, the states at the top of the list may just have an impressive lack of self-awareness.

Also, this list is missing Georgia, leading us to conclude that there must be no penises in the state of Georgia. We’ve reached out to Condomania to confirm.

*Not actually scientific or important.

159 comments
DebiTenrreiro
DebiTenrreiro

More like a list of what states practice the most safe sex.

SteveW
SteveW

C'mon people. You know you can't take this seriously. Otherwise how would 

you explain Texas being near the bottom of the list?


percycription
percycription

This is Irrelevant because almost no one in the south uses condoms

vikingrxcom
vikingrxcom

I can't believe North Dakota is on top of that list. I guess for the other 49 states they need Penis Enhancement to catch up. Who measured? LOL

JohnDugan
JohnDugan

No matter the state in which a man lives, the state of his penis health is far more important than its size. One easy way to maintain good penis health: regular use ofa top notch penis health crème with amino acids

CarolineAllen-Hood
CarolineAllen-Hood

what is funny in another survey indiana was voted most sexually satisfied but on size of ...well ya know we rank 42 lol lol

RandomStranger
RandomStranger

It's because in ND there is nothing to do but play with themselves all day for years, thus elongating the penis by the sheer force of violent masturbation. They don't include the rates of ED in each state....

Yes, I'm from ND.

No, it's not ACTUALLY that bad.=]

LoganLToys
LoganLToys

Another possibility for N. Dakota... there's an abundance of women living there who need sex toys and big dildos to get off, but smart women know to put a condom over their jelly-rubber dildo because they are made with materials that include phthalates which can be damn harmful. Seriously. http://greatlovetoys.com/unsafe-sex-toys/

eagle_blue
eagle_blue

Very funny.

To have a good laugh from time to time is not bad.

Texas, 41. You have got to be kidding!

Anyway it is not size that counts!

[For the benefit of the younger, even when they are very bright, it is better o be more serious and well balanced in what we publish.]

SnarfCPNB
SnarfCPNB

Sounds like someone is from Mississippi



WildWill
WildWill

The District of Columbia is not a state but is included in table while Georgia is and is excluded, what's with that 

ToniKnights
ToniKnights

If Georgia is missing, then how come there are 50 states listed? Wow, this is truly scientific :)

GaynellHardy-Mikell
GaynellHardy-Mikell

Who wants to hand their girl a condom that says "Small"?? sounds like those N Dakota boys are just "smarter"

Trap12
Trap12

What if Ohio penis had moved to North Dalota?

Bullsgt
Bullsgt

This article is typical of the decline in Time's quality. Looking for open rates to base your success on?

DebbieKrous
DebbieKrous

LOL! Rhode Island is # 2!!! 

The littlest state with the biggest name and the second biggest _____ ! HA!

CaryBarron
CaryBarron

Texas has a lower average because of all the Mexicans living here.

seizeabe
seizeabe

Finally, a serious article from Time !

LeslieKuriaBattle
LeslieKuriaBattle

In all seriousness, I would be curious to see what the STD and pregnancy (per capita) rates are for the bottom 10-15 states. They may not be buying condoms, but I bet they are still having sex.

AnusMcGillicutty
AnusMcGillicutty

Jessica Roy is a size queen. Surprised she didn't fluff up each guy in each state she was in and then broke out her ruler. 

Jakaro
Jakaro

Mississippi is the blackest state and North Dakota about the whitest. I won't say anything beyond that.

AOW
AOW

North Dakota only rates because Canadians come across the border.......

KearyBotley
KearyBotley

They have Black people in the Dakotas??? { :-O

KatieBayer
KatieBayer

So DC is definitely NOT a state... way to leave off Georiga...

SharonBlevinsPilgrim
SharonBlevinsPilgrim

I'm surprised D.C. isn't number 1 because there are "bigger" pricks there than anywhere else.  

JoshEwing
JoshEwing

Georgia, is not listed because the penis was so large it couldn't fit on the page... 

partlycloudy
partlycloudy

LOL LOL  I lived with a North Dakota Farm Boy in St Louis.  He was very athletic because he grew up on a dairy farm in Balta.but wait,  I've dated guys from NY, and PA, and Indiana, and CA, and GA and just about everywhere.  How come GA is not rated at all?

Condomania
Condomania

Thanks for the shout out Jessica :)  Georgia's rightful place is in the 23rd ranking spot ;) 

cbyebyefraser
cbyebyefraser

Goes to show not EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

MEGFilmworks
MEGFilmworks

I guess Texans are not as big as they thought!!

pooka1046
pooka1046

Since the District of Columbia made the list,shouldn't it be number 1? there have GOT to be more big pricks there per capata,though they class as transients for the most part.

tkp4444
tkp4444

Because you lack the ability to read- see number 4 on the list. Wow, this is truly a lack of reading comprehension.

mmmarzan
mmmarzan

That's typical Texan scapegoating. Now I can explain "Don't mess with Texas" and all that swagger about everything big. LMAO.

TheDers
TheDers

@Jakaro north dakota is filled with lots of Native Americans?

Vincent_Beers
Vincent_Beers

@KearyBotley In the last few years with the oil boom explosion, North Dakota has the highest influx of people moving to the state of all colors looking for labor work. 10 years ago the state was low population and 90% white; today its the fastest growing population of any state and maybe 50% white (and dropping)


Times change, and no where is changing as fast as North Dakota, at the moment.

Jakaro
Jakaro

I don't know if that's a question, but according to the Census Bureau, North Dakota is 88 percent white and 5 percent Native American. Why not look up stuff before shooting off one's mouth?

Vincent_Beers
Vincent_Beers

@Jakaro He did ask it as a question; which means he may have been acknowledging that he didn't know and was looking for the answer rather than stating it as fact.