Which State Is the Biggest?

On this list, Texas doesn't even make the top 40.

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Condomania.com, which claims to be America’s first online condom store (who knew!), has decided to conduct its own very important, highly scientific study*. According to a press release, the website compiled condom sales data by state to find out which states bought a higher-than-average amount of larger-sized condoms.

The result? A list of all 50 states, “ordered by penis size”–and some surprising news for the Dakotas.

  1. North Dakota
  2. Rhode Island
  3. South Dakota
  4. District of Columbia
  5. Massachusetts
  6. Ohio
  7. Arizona
  8. Alabama
  9. New York
  10. South Carolina
  11. Colorado
  12. Maryland
  13. Wisconsin
  14. New Jersey
  15. California
  16. Florida
  17. Connecticut
  18. Virginia
  19. Oregon
  20. Pennsylvania
  21. Washington
  22. Tennessee
  23. New Mexico
  24. Iowa
  25. Illinois
  26. Louisiana
  27. Vermont
  28. Utah
  29. Maine
  30. Nebraska
  31. Idaho
  32. Kansas
  33. Delaware
  34. Michigan
  35. Nevada
  36. New Hampshire
  37. Oklahoma
  38. Montana
  39. Minnesota
  40. Kentucky
  41. Texas
  42. Indiana
  43. West Virginia
  44. Missouri
  45. Alaska
  46. North Carolina
  47. Wyoming
  48. Arkansas
  49. Hawaii
  50. Mississippi

Of course, since the Condomania data is based on what size condoms people are purchasing, the states at the top of the list may just have an impressive lack of self-awareness.

Also, this list is missing Georgia, leading us to conclude that there must be no penises in the state of Georgia. We’ve reached out to Condomania to confirm.

*Not actually scientific or important.