Don't be this person.
It’s cold outside. Like, really cold outside. (Thanks, polar vortex.) Almost all Americans are dealing with this deep freeze right now, but for some reason, everybody feels the need to post screenshots of their smartphone weather apps to prove that it’s extra cold in their town.
But you don’t need to do this. Everyone understands how freezing and terrible it is out there. So when you too get the urge to share the alarmingly low numbers on your digital forecast, here are six just slightly less annoying things to post instead.
1) A belfie: This girl has 1.6 million Instagram followers because she takes really good belfies (yes, that translates to “butt selfie” or for the classy folks,”bottom selfie”). Which means there’s hope for you, too. Be sure to Instagram all of your cast-off photos.
2) A melodramatic Facebook status: Forget about the cold for a moment and just get real dramatic about something else. Be sure to keep it vague. Here are some examples which you’re welcome to borrow:
I hate everything and NO I don’t want to talk about it.
The cold weather reminds me of the cold inside my heart and NO I don’t want to talk about it.
I can’t BELIEVE I have to deal with this and NO I don’t want to talk about it.
3) Your thoughts on bitcoin: Do you have feelings about bitcoin, the unregulated digital currency that economists and journalists can’t stop talking about? You should probably share them on Twitter. Feel free to get into rousing debates with anyone who disagrees with you.
4) A humblebrag/Throwback Thursday hybrid: Use the popular #TBT hashtag to boast about something, even if it happened very, very recently. Use plenty of exclamation points. For example:
#TBT to that time I ran a marathon!!!!!
#TBT to that time I married my best friend!!!!!
#TBT to that time I donated to a Guatemalan orphan and he cried because I saved his life but no big deal!!!!!!
5) A baby that isn’t even that cute: Sometimes people just can’t stop posting pictures of their baby, even when it looks like Gerald Samson, Maggie Simpson’s arch nemesis. Woof.
6) A braggy picture of your tropical vacation: You know what, fine. Go ahead and post pictures of your hot dog legs on a beautiful beach. We don’t care anymore.