Sorry, Every PSA Ever: Study Says Teens Who Drink Have More Friends

What your mother doesn't want you to know.

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A new scientific study suggests that teens who drink more alcohol have more friends, to which the popular kids said “no duh” in between sips of Smirnoff Ice.

Researchers looked at data from a 1994 study of 7th to 12th graders from 132 school that asked questions about drinking and friendship. Teens who said they drank at all had on average half a friend more than non-drinkers. Teens who said they got drunk had, on average, one friend more than abstainers. This was particularly true with white students.

But not everyone agrees with the study’s findings.

“There has not been much data to support that drinking among teenagers directly leads to higher popularity and more friendships,” said Peter Delany, the director of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), to Reuters. That’s actually the group that published the study, although Delaney obviously wasn’t on the research team.

The other glaring problem? Researchers analyzed data from 20 years ago. This was the era of cropped sweaters, school girl skirts, and butterfly clips accenting “Rachel” haircuts. Mike’s Hard Lemonade didn’t even exist yet!