There’s an old Irish saying: “May the sun rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back, may you never try to drive home hammered in the winter, causing a dangerous, reprehensible ruckus, and leading police officers on a time-wasting chase through the woods in the winter while you attempt to impersonate an owl to evade detection.”
According to Massachusetts police, alleged drunk driver Troy A. Prockett, 37, forgot about that last part, because they arraigned him on a number of charges after he fled the scene of a single-car accident on Monday and subsequently pretended to be a wise, majestic bird.
State Trooper Michael J. McCammon, driving on I-290 that evening, witnessed the car Prockett drove careening out of control, causing several cars on the road to brake, until it spun into a snowbank. The driver started the car up again as McCammon followed, police lights on. The driver abandoned his car and ran into the woods. McCammon said he looked inside the banged-up Nissan Maxima and smelled alcohol, and organized a search party.
When the search party located Prockett after an hour-long search, he was hiding in a tree, like Katniss from Hunger Games, only a wasted idiot instead of a brave fictional hero.
McCammon wrote that Prockett refused to surrender but “asked if we had caught the guy who was driving and climbed higher in the tree.” Prockett then allegedly told the police that the driver had carried him on his back to the tree, and that he was an owl.
Police used a bucket truck to rescue Prockett, who had climbed around 30 feet up the tree. He is charged with third-offense drunken driving, failure to stop for police, resisting arrest, leaving the scene of property damage and disturbing the peace. Prockett’s prior DUI and refusal to take a Breathalyzer means his license is suspended for five years, which seems like a victory for road safety.