How to Make $30,000 a Month Writing Bigfoot Sex Scenes

If you thought 50 Shades of Grey was too freaky, this erotica might make your eyeballs vomit

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Moan for Bigfoot, laugh all the way to the bank.

Writers, especially self-publishing beginner authors, aren’t exactly known for making money. But perhaps all the would-be Franzens are barking up the wrong genre. There is a proven way for unsigned writers to make $30,000 a month, according to The Daily Beast.

Digital cryptozoological erotica. Otherwise known as monster porn e-books.

Titles like Moan for Bigfoot by Virginia Wade are for sale on Amazon, and people are buying them — Moan for Bigfoot has been downloaded over 100,000 times.  (That particular title was christened under a different title, before Amazon cracked down on the burgeoning genre of books.)

Sample line from the series (one of the few PG lines in the entire thing): “For a grizzled, walking carpet, with the manners of a goat, he sure was a good kisser.”

Wade and her crypto-erotic cohorts are more concerned with turning people on than crafting polished sentences, and the prose is, as you may have guessed, more or less uniformly ridiculous. But the descriptions of beast-on-lady doin’ it are provocative enough to keep customers coming back.

Other available titles in this surprisingly expansive category: Seduced By the Ape Men, The Monster in Her Panties, Yielding to the Merman, Punished By the Centaur, Savaged By the Swamp Creature, Taken By the Pterodactyl, Sex With My Husband’s Anatomically Correct Robot, and my personal favorite, Bigfoot Did Me From Behind and I Liked It. The tongue-in-bestial-cheek, unabashedly campy titles speak to the underlying humor which makes these e-reads palatable.

Wade, the woman behind the Moan for Bigfoot series (there are 16 installments) makes thousands every month selling these bizarrely appealing e-books through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing. Wade (which is, unsurprisingly, a pen name) may retire from the genre, though, after Amazon’s decision to tighten restrictions.

This means there’s room in the crypto-erotica game for a new master to rise — will it be Christie Sims and Alara Branwen, the duo behind most of the dinosaur erotica? Or Alice Xavier, who wrote the popular Alien Seed?

Or perhaps a TIME reader with a nutty dream about sensual Chupacabras will be our next star.

6 comments
LaneRyan
LaneRyan

But who could forget: Dino-Myte: Interracial Adventures from the Dinosaur's Boneyard


http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HNJ9H9Q


Cynthia intends to bring her university to the forefront of '70s science with an invention that can channel the consciousness of ancient dinosaurs into modern humanlike avatars, a perfect blend of beast and man that can walk, talk ... and more.


When Cynthia and her lab partners, the voluptuous Gina and the hunky Barry, channel distant beasts into three beautiful bodies quite different from their own, they find their new companions hunger for flesh in a way they hadn't expected.


Warning: This 7,700 word story depicts hot sex with beastly humanoids, and is intended for 18+ audiences only!

LiviaEllis
LiviaEllis

I am clearly writing the wrong thing. I need to spend less time on plotting and character development and more time writing whist drunk.

DanBruce
DanBruce

Now for the follow-up: How a formerly respected national news magazine can increase readership by featuring articles titled 'How to Make $30,000 a Month Writing Bigfoot Sex Scenes' and other such fluff.

HeyitsMe
HeyitsMe

Oh this is too funny…and yet totally believable.

I hope to break into this genre and make (at least a percentage of) money that this new category is forming. No, I’m not into beastiality but there are still a lot of things to try with other monster characters.