As a winter storm bore down on the city of Baltimore, a man trapped inside his home put out a plea: Taco Bell, stat.
It all started when the man, whose name is unknown, had a few drinks too many, which conjured up a burning desire to make a run for the border, Bell-style. However, he knew that he was too drunk to drive, and that his car wouldn’t be able to weather the weather. So he turned to Craiglist and posted an impassioned plea for a driver with a 4-wheel drive vehicle to come help a man in need.
The ad read:
Guys it’s snowing like a bitch outside, I’ve had a few drinks too many, and my shitty little hybrid douchemobile can’t possibly make it to the neighborhood Taco Bell in this weather. I need someone with a 4 wheel drive vehicle to come pick my drunk ass up, take me to the Taco Bell drive-thru, and drive me back home. Then we can hang out and play video games if you’re not a rapist. This is maybe 2 miles round trip. I’ll pay in tacos. or chalupas. whatever. Seriously my desire for tacos right now is totally unmanageable, so I’d probably even buy you a 7 layer burrito if you asked nicely.
Someone perusing the site’s “creative gigs” offerings noticed the posting and instead of taking on the important mission to help a drunk man get his chalupa on, took a screengrab of the ad and put it on Imgur, where it eventually made its way to the front page of Reddit.
As many inebriated, snow-trapped men before him, eventually the ad’s poster headed to Reddit himself and saw his plea on the site’s front page. He then jumped into the conversation to assure the world that, despite the impossible odds, he had survived. Posting as “squirrelsoup” the man wrote, “I ended up taking myself after a bit of sobering up.” Adding “I am currently nursing my taco baby” and reporting that he is doing his part to make sure that at least one Baltimore-area Taco Bell had some sales yesterday despite the inclement weather: “I had a nacho loco taco, a crunchy taco, a soft taco, a chalupa, and some cinnabon bites.”