Kristen Stewart Doesn’t Want to Sound Pretentious, But She’s Written a Poem

It's called "My Heart Is a Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole"

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Image: Kristen Stewart at the 2012 Governor's Awards of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in Hollywood, California Dec. 1, 2012.
Krista Kennell/AFP/Getty Images

Apologies to your 8th grade self: Twilight actress Kristen Stewart has officially one-upped you in the “writing embarrassing poetry laden with hackneyed metaphors” department. Only instead of leaving hers to rot in a glittery journal at her parents’ house, Stewart has allowed an international women’s magazine to publish it. Also, she wrote the poem just last year.

Stewart read the poem aloud to Marie Claire, then, after acknowledging that it’s “so embarrassing,” she allowed them to print it. Written last year during a cross-country road trip, it’s called “My Heart Is a Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole,” and it proves that you definitely don’t get to star in a Jack Kerouac biopic without having a little writing talent of your own.

From Marie Claire:

My Heart Is a Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole

I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I’ll suck the bones pretty.
Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.

And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He’s speaking in tongues all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
My eyes
And I’m drunk on your morsels
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
Salutes mine …

Good on Stewart for putting herself out there. Now everybody give her snaps.

3 comments
chacalcdn1
chacalcdn1

To get up and try will always be challenged by those sitting, moping and wishing.

Keep going Kristen.

BenCaesar
BenCaesar

I bet she used online thesaurus to beef up all the words she jumbled incoherently in this disaster of a poem