Dan Gilbert’s Rage, Chapter Two: Slashing LeBron’s Fathead Value

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LeBron James’ decision to join the Miami Heat did little to improve his market worth in one wacky sports product.

So, Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert heard the news. Step 1: Write a letter to Cavs fans blasting the “self-titled former king“. Step 2: Slash prices of James fatheads, a company that Gilbert also happens to own.

If you haven’t found the Benjamin in your pocket to purchase a $99.99 6-foot-8 sticker for your bedroom wall, rest assured. The Detroit News reports that James fatheads in a Cavaliers uniform have been lowered to an amazing $17.41 bargain.

How did Gilbert come up with that Wal-Mart-shaped number? The News postulates that it may have something to do with world history – 1741, the year that Benedict Arnold, a famous Americans-to-British Revolutionary-War traitor, was born.

If this analogy truly fits, when will Gilbert and the Cavs declare their independence from the Heat and other oppressive NBA rulers?