Goldman Sachs Now Only Selling ‘Crappy’ Deals

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Image by © Randall Fung/Corbis

Goldman Sachs is going to start using screening tools in order to keep employees from swearing in emails, because apparently, they just can’t stop on their own.

In response to an inappropriate email, sent by employee Thomas Montag, which came to light in an April Senate hearing, the company has forbidden the use of expletives in electronic exchanges. Montag’s offending email read, “that timberwo[l]f was one s***** deal.”

And to enforce the rules, electronic messages will now be screened for bad words. According to the Wall Street Journal, “Goldman’s no-swearing dictate covers instant messages and texts from company-issued cellphones and emails. Verboten emails could get bounced to the compliance department. Others might be blocked completely, depending on the severity of the language. There are no set disciplinary measures for offenders, but habitual profaners will be summoned by their managers to discuss cleaning up their language.”

With the emphasis being placed on cleaning up company messages, you have to wonder just how often Goldman Sachs employees are referring to deals as s*****. It’s a little worrisome and someone ought to remind the executives that a bad deal by any other name, would still smell, well, you know.